How I see it now: One word for 2015

All the challenges currently going on in the bloggosphere are dangerously contagious. So it's only understandable that I can't resist the temptation to follow the example of other bloggers. Recently I've read a number of posts about people's New Year's resolutions, and I'm tempted to come up with my own take on the topic, but for now I've decided to take up another challenge, or a variation of it - the One word for 2015 challenge. The motivation comes from two amazing ladies and experienced educators, who handled the topic with bravura. Vicky Loras's post about her one word was thoughtful and heartfelt, as usual, and Theodora Papapanagiotou came up with a playful and energetic post here.

I hadn't had to rack my brain for two long to come up with the word that I would like to represent me in this New Year. It came out of hiding unexpectedly, in a triumphant manner, but I think it had actually been brewing and lurking within for a while. It started to emerge some time around Christmas, when I was keen on reading books describing amazing spiritual journeys and adventures. Although I don't remember where exactly I read this or that, some of the most interesting quotes still ring in my ears, such as the one concerning wishes, which said something along these lines: if you wish something and would like it to happen, visualize it and write it down.

So every night before I went to sleep, I spent some time contemplating and reflecting. My aim was to invent something I could wish and visualize, and then piously wait for it to happen. Surprisingly, despite my best efforts, I wasn't able to come up with a sensible wish. I mean, I wasn't able to come up with something I needed because I already had a life in which all my dreams had come true. Obviously, I could have asked for an infinite continuation of the satisfactory situation, but it somehow didn't seem an appropriate wish; to me it felt like an attempt at clinging to something, not wanting to give it up or let it go. What if I would like to let it go some day? Wishing loads of money, being famous, or having a dream job appeared childish and trivial, and I didn't want to squander the potential God's gifts. Sometimes I felt like the main character in the story about The Three Wishes.

And then it came to me one day. I realized that what I needed most to be happy and live my life to the fullest was constant CHANGE. Not that I felt I needed to change anything particular - anything already existing; I said that basically I was happy with the way my life had shaped itself. I didn’t long for a sudden, dramatic change or something like that. Actually, change has many meanings, such as to make or become different, to be transformed or converted, to give and receive something in return, to pass from one phase to the following one, to alter one's attitude or opinion, etc. For me change is the law of life. It is life. It is progress.

Now, to be completely honest with myself, I mostly crave change for selfish and superficial reasons. I'm a person who loves to watch the seasons change and I never want a summer to stay longer than it is supposed to. I love it when autumn finally comes and I can smell the wet leaves on the ground. Also, although I can enjoy the moments of repose, to be truly and utterly happy, I need to keep myself entertained and mentally challenged. At the end of each academic year I yearn for holidays and at the end of August I can't wait to start teaching again. As far as my profession is concerned, I’m not someone who recycles the same lesson plan every year. I don’t store grammar sheets in a huge, well-arranged file so that I could use them again at some point in the future. If I do keep them for rainy days, I rarely use them when the days come. I like to elaborate and innovate.

To sum up my scattered thoughts, in 2015 I wish to stay open to new ideas and to be ready to change my view whenever it’s to the good. I want to be prepared to shed my old skin whenever I feel it is too tight because stubborn clinging to old habits and ideas means stagnation. By seizing every opportunity to change some of the unhealthy mindsets I struggle to get rid of, and giving up my bad habits, I hope I will gradually change into a happier human being.

Overall, I wish for new, exciting experiences which would open new horizons for me and keep me moving on. I guess my mind is like a shark that can never stop swimming, otherwise it would die (well, it's probably a myth but I like the metaphor). Anyway, here's one of my favourite songs.